Tonight I have him

Close to my heart

Embedded in my dimples

Shining in my eyes

Tomorrow shall be a new day

A lottery, to say

May win, may lose but mostly lose

Lotteries were meant to be lost anyway

But today I put myself completely at stake

“All or none” that’s what I say

Knowing that he would mostly leave

And I would be broken again

But I know if there is any hope

It’s only in this last game

Already lost most.

Tomorrow would be yet another day

When I wait for fate

To roll a dice

And decide my case.

Namita Satija


I wish I could explain how much I miss you

How in each second of my day

Even when I turn off all lights

My eyes shine in the light you gave me

Or the brush that you handed me over

To paint the air that I breathed

When I could not breathe you

Or the ache of the void in my heart

That you etched through your eyes

How through those little words

And short sentences

You broke the unshackled me

From the fences of my heart

I wish I could define it

It was maybe as small as the sky

Or as mighty as the dew drop

Namita Satija


She wanted a strong man, like him perhaps,

Who could get lost in the vastness of sky

And still find home in her eyes

She was a strong woman, her eyes could tell

Her strength was silence when she desired to scream

It was waiting, when she wanted to run

Or abstinence, when she desired him

A smile when she wanted to shout

And run when she was terribly sick

Yet she wanted a strong man

Just to be less strong sometimes

To let her loose and be vulnerable

Not because she wanted to be weak

But because sometimes, she wanted rest

But the chase just got stronger by the day

She decided to give up on the idea of him

Yes, she will have to be strong always

But at least, one pursuit must come to end

She thus chose solitude

When she wanted someone.

Namita Satija


She thought she’d call him or text him

Daydreaming, she looks at her phone

Waiting for that name to flash

Maybe he misses, maybe he is busy

Or maybe she cannot guess

He is too far away like the moon

She romances with the breeze

The moon, the trees, the wind

The drifting leaves talk and assure her

Her footsteps reply to them

This romance could be enough

The lust with which she sees the trees

And blushes when the wind kisses her eyes

Or the goosebumps she feels

When wind rubs her top on her skin

She gives in to this moment and forgets him

Cheats on him as her phone lies beside her

Maybe that’s what time and space needs

Cheats herself & makes love to emptiness

Namita Satija


From some, she wanted their time

From some, she craved for their presence

From others she wanted their emotions

From him, she wanted nothing.

Although broken she was after he left

Cried, in the middle of the day

But from those crevices of her broken heart

She got sunlight healing her cuts

She was greedy to want more

But was not unhappy with whatever she had

Somewhere in the corner of her heart

She wanted to breathe him again

But she chose to breathe his mist

From the tee she wore when they hugged

And that’s how she smiled always.

Namita Satija


Unwavering she moves

Dauntless she runs

She knows that she doesn’t know all

But still knows what she knows

She listens to all around her

The leaves of the fall

The flowers of the spring

And feels them as she gets close

She wishes she could be everywhere

To feel the pain of uncertainties

To feel the loss of desires

To feel the joy of love

To feel the spirit of accomplishment

And to feel nothing at all

Because neither the joy stays till the spring

Nor the pain waits till the fall.
Namita Satija

His eyes made her quiet

Just like the stars in the night sky

Caressing the baby to sleep

His smile mellowed her

Her iron ribs dissolved with his warm touch

Made her heart vulnerable

To pleasure, to pain.

He gently touched her heart

But brutally slit her artery

And let the blood flow

Love oozed from her heart

And flowed in all directions

She saw herself bleed of feelings

Once gone, she knew she’d be left with none

And decided to stop

But what bled smelled of wild roses and coke

She got high after a long time

For no rhyme or reason

She walked on her senses

Oblivious to the thorns on the road

Kept walking, kept loving

Until he was gone, far, far away

Leaving her in blood

And the lovely mist of his rough hands.

~Namita Satija

Public Speaking

“Happy Birthday…..” My dad who gave me the best gifts, gave me this. Do you know what this is? You know what stone is this? It’s called a pumice stone. And my dad who always gave me the most expensive gifts, did not even care to take off the price tag. “7 bucks”

Good evening contest chair, judges and all those of you who have wished for more ostentatious birthday gifts but got something like this.

When I was young, I wished being as beautiful as Snowwhite or Cinderella, but I was a fat girl, not the fancy kind of fat the girls these days crib about but to put to shape if people resembled a cylinder I resembled a sphere. I was always the last one to be picked for a football team and the only reason they ever picked me up was if they actually wanted a football.

Since sports did not work out for me, I decided to go the nerd way. One night while I was busy gazing out of the window searching for my shooting star, Voila! There it was. I quickly closed my eyes and wished to top my Maths exam to be held the next day. Now came the judgment day and the teacher called out my roll number “Roll No. 23“. I jumped out of my seat, marched towards my teacher expecting my star to have done its magic. But she said, “Failed!”

Moving a few years ahead, the fear of numbers still pulsating in my mind, I met the super man of the subject and he started helping me out. He gave me a lot of attention so I started wishing and dreaming again. A heart shaped balloon starting bubbling in my head. After a good 10 months of inflating this balloon together, I found him drifting away. I called him a woman replied “the number you are calling is busy, please call again later” *toon toon toon*. I dropped a message *hand gesture 10*. Until I found he was inflating the balloon of someone else. Yet another failure.

Rejected by sports, dejected in studies and humiliated by love, I had just hit rock bottom. The only place I wanted to be was, wrapped by my father’s arms. I ran towards him and hugged him so tight never wanting to leave that safe haven.

Knowing all that I had faced, he said in his calm tone “ This is not forever” “No dad” I retaliated, “The universe hates me. God doesn’t answer my wishes.” With a gentle smile he answered, “Lado, wishes don’t work independently, they work with failures.” and  handed me the pumice stone that I had once rejected because it was too trivial. “This stone is no less than a magic lamp. When you rub this stone on your skin, it will hurt you but in no time, it will shed off all your dead skin and leave you glowing. And when failures rub on you, don’t be scared of the pain but face it with courage. Your weakness will be scraped in no time. When a failure touches you, don’t run away, let it hurt you, break you, make you cry and take you down but it is this friction that will sharpen you, make you more capable. And the next step to failure is always success”

This pumice stone, my friends, taught me the essence of failure.

Collecting shattered pieces of my heart, I started working on one wish at a time. Scored better in Mathematics than the superman of mathematics. Started running a mile a day and recently won a Marathon. Also became the opening batsman of the Infosys Cricket Team.

Only when you accumulate some dead cells, the mighty stone does its job. Failure comes to scrape your shortcomings.

A century ago, a man created 5999 failed filaments over a period of two years, but the 6000th one was a success. Yes, Thomas Edison learnt from those 5999 failed attempts. For two years, Micheal Jordan was cut out from his high school basketball team and that motivated him to be the greatest basketball player of our generation.

In life it is inevitable to live without failing unless you live so cautiously that you might not have lived at all, in which case you fail by default. So I wish you failure and I ask you to wish me the same because the failures can turn our weakness into strength, can make a wish come true, the only condition being, never ever quit. Now I am ready to fail. Are you?