“If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”
What I love about these lines is “not to hurry”. Time and space is created by us, and the sense of urgency is only there if you are struggling to live. If you are flowing with the wave, the wave shall take you without any struggle.
Only the subject of this post is okay, and today I feel completely drenched out. Just like there is wind around the candle but the candle is trying really hard to stay ablaze, I feel like the stubborn candle. I am not completely sure what is happening to me but I’ll try to put it in words for you, and for history. My head feels fraught with information and frustration, so much so that it could implode any moment. My spine is too tired to stand erect. My mind is in a split. To do or to not do, is the question at hand. I don’t think I got a dream for no reason. I just think God likes me to have a hard sandwich for stronger teeth. Don’t really know if that’s a comprehensible analogy, but I really don’t have energy to think about a better one. The flower will bloom if I feed it right was how I was taking life. You do the right things and the right things happen to you. Today, when my beliefs should have been shaken, I feel comfortable because of some strange strong faith. I have no idea where it stems from, but all I know is that no amount of negative self talk is taking it away. I can’t cry because I just can’t, even though the dream that I created is at stake. Maybe nothing is mine, neither the body nor this mind, and that is the reason I am not distressed. Or maybe life has hardened me enough to take in failure. Because now I have a stubborn heart. Maybe my story is different. It had to be full of learnings. And I never wanted a boring life. Maybe this is God’s real plan. Whatever it is, I am taking the shot of failure, of course with a smile, and starting again. I have always given up on people rather quickly because I didn’t want anything from them that they didn’t want to give happily. But I can ask myself for something, right? And probably give her something as well. Because I love her. She is amazing and deserves joy. *narcissism alert!: please don’t fall off your bed reading this*